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Confusion?

I’ve been trying to date this really nice and attractive guy. He says he would, he just isn’t quite sure what his ‘ex’ is done yet. Like I said, he’s nice, just didn’t wanna hurt her. Meaning my best friend has been dating my sister, my¬†female¬†bestfriend and trying to get me to get a boyfriend. Anyone.

I will confess, I’ve kinda liked my best friend for a year. And we dated last summer, briefly, but he was working and I was travelling and we had a fallout.

Today, I walked into the room before school. My best friend got up and walked right to me. We went out and he poked my boob. A common joke thing here between friends, but it was still kinda weird, him leading me outside to do it that is. We hugged and I didn’t wanna held go, I mean, it was cold, right?

At lunch, I walked into a completely different room, and he was in it. He did the exact same thing with leading me outside. It was raining now. We hugged and I held him for a good while. I let go and he tried to kiss me. I giggled like a bitch and kept turning my face away. We laughed and he kept trying. He grabbed my boob, kinda, not really on purpose at all, in the process. He kept wrapping his arm around my waist and pulling me in, and I wanted to kiss him, but I was embarrassed and confused. He said he liked me, just didn’t wanna date me. I kept telling him I wasn’t going to do things with him like that, even just kiss him, if we weren’t actually together. So he asked me out, and after hearing myself ranting a bit more, I said okay. We kissed a few times, in the rain. When we were walking back to school, he put his arm around my shoulder, few like 30 seconds.

I dunno what I feel anymore..

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So what if you can see, the darkness side of me?
I wish this was the worst..
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credzz